The Yooks and Zooks were the two warring tribes in Dr. Seuss's The Butter Battle Book. The Yooks ate their bread with the butter-side up. The Zooks preferred theirs butter-side down. (Assholes.) This caused a serious rift not unlike many of our own in the fully dimensional world. And while we haven't quite reached Seussian apocalypse, we are divided Americans in almost every way. By political affiliation. By race and gender. By class and religion. By Amazing Race participants and matters as frivolous as breakfast food.